Straight hair!! Taken by my daughter in Manila
I’ve gone through a huge change in the last week. No, it’s not the culture shock of flying from the Philippines back to the US. And it’s not the time change either, which is currently only allowing me 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
I got my hair straightened. In a 5 hour process in a salon in a mall on the tip of the Philippine islands, I went from a head full of natural curls to stick straight hair.
It took me months of debate to decide whether or not I was going to do it or not. When I asked for feedback on Facebook, I got comment after comment of very strong opinions in either direction. The comments ran from “God gave you curly hair so you should keep it that way” to “Sounds fun! Do it!!” And when I actually got it straightened and posted a picture, the response was less than enthusiastic from some people who were clearly more attached to my curls than I was.
Now that I am home, I am facing the daily, sometimes hourly event of running into people and having them get used to it. It feels like I’ve had a face transplant sometimes instead of just a change in hair style.
In all honesty, I did it because I love change, not because I hated my curly hair or because I think straight hair is better. And even better than this one change is the possibility that making this change will open me up to more change. What happens when I get sick of my hair or don’t want to pay to keep it straight? I will cut it short and try that for awhile! While that thought may frighten my long hair loving husband, it sounds super fun to me.
Reflecting on all of this has made me think a lot about the dynamics of change.
Eighteen months ago, my husband decided to leave his secure job of 22 years to work for a consulting firm. Besides more time together as a family, we felt that this change would make us that more available to other changes. It was as if we needed to start the car moving in order to make a turn. Letting go of one security helped us see that we could be open to new possibilities. And indeed, we are now considering far flung possibilities such as moving to another country or out of state. But it would have been harder to consider that if he hadn’t made his job change last year.
I think it is change or maybe the fear of change that keeps many of us from living a truly free life. Sometimes changing one thing can free us up for another. This is especially important for those of us who are living in the suburbs, who live lives of safety and predictability, who think we can control our destinies and our futures.
I know some people love to stay in one place. They thrive on predictability and routine. I know I am on the other end of the spectrum which is why living and working across cultures, ideas and locations is where I feel most at home. But all of us need to look closely at what we are holding onto too tightly. What kinds of changes in our finances, our thinking, our daily routine, our family, our understanding of the world or God or each other would help us live more openly, more engaged with the deepest problems of our world, more connected to our planet, each other and to God?
Change comes in many ways. Maybe a habit of recycling can lead to composting or reduced consumption. Maybe a daily time of meditation and prayer will lead to a more centered and focused life. Maybe taking your children to work in a homeless shelter will help your family live more simply so others can simply live. Maybe taking a backpacking trip pushes the limits of your physical strength which gives you the courage and discipline to take time to exercise more consistently. You never know what one change will lead to but it is better to live a fully engaged life than one that is padded by fear and excess security.
good word Jenny! change takes courage. period. and it is good for the soul.
Loved reading your thoughts on change, Jenny. And your straight hair looks cute, by the way! (Of course it looked cute before too). =) My hair has always been as straight as a board and I always wished it would do something more than just hang there limply!! The grass is always greener, isn’t it?
It was funny to read this post about change, because I feel I’m currently at the opposite end of the spectrum as you. In the sense that I’ve had so much change in the last few years that all I want to do is settle down in one place and have something not change for a little while; some stability. But I think God has used this whole process to teach me, because normally I’m more cautious and like stability. So it definitely took me out of my comfort zone to move to another country and follow God’s lead. Even though we’re not still there it’s been a great learning process! I want to try not to rebound so much into so-called “stability” that I loose that sense of having to trust God every day no matter what comes.
I’m excited to see where God leads you and your family, whether in CA or elsewhere!
I look forward to seeing the changed you (although can’t quite imagine the straight hair until I see it for myself)! Thanks for your wonderful reflections on change…
Awesome and awe inspiring! Literally moved me to tears. With ALL we have going on, I am still a “change” person. Letting go of the fear is right now the hard part for me. Love, Lori
i like it! can’t wait to see the new hair in person… and i think you are right about being open to change and living a truly free life… at the same time, i’m discerning some changes in my own life that might limit my “freedom” – geographically and otherwise… and that’s a hard decision to make as well… i’ve been missing you and can’t wait to live nearer to you this year and have all kinds of great discussions! ; )
Hard to see the difference from the photos, but can certainly “hear” how different it is for you. (I saw someone from the back recently who reminded me of you & she had curly hair. She certainly wasn’t you–curly hair or not–and, maybe, curly hair isn’t you, right now!) It’s surprising to think about how much we’re affected by the reaction of others to our appearance, isn’t it?
I heard a talk once by a man who had spent many, years with elderly in senior care. He reported that he asked those folks what they would have changed in their life if they could go back. No. 2 Answer (behind improved health, of course) was to not wait so long to make changes. I try to remember that story when I’m having trouble letting go…
Great reflection, as always. Thanks for sharing it. I love YOU–straight, curly or NO hair! Glad you’ve done this. What fun. I think that most people hesitate to express delight at a major change in someone’s appearance because it might be interpreted that the old was bad. Silly, huh? Why can’t we like it all equally? Or not.
What’s next on your schedule of life? The possibilities of change you mentioned are interesting! Can’t wait to see what happens.