more wonderful than gloss

...All my life I have been restless– I have felt there is something more wonderful than gloss– than wholeness– than staying at home. I have not been sure what it is. But every morning on the wide shore I pass what is perfect and shining to look for the whelks, whose edges have rubbed so long against the world they have snapped and crumbled– they have almost vanished, with the last relinquishing of their unrepeatable energy, back into everything else. When I find one, I hold it in my hand, I look over that shanking fire, I shut my eyes. Not often, but now and again there's a moment when the heart cries aloud: yes, I am willing to be that wild darkness, that long, blue body of light. -Mary Oliver